I was recently asked to go into a High School and give a talk to the 15/16 year old students. I was nervous beforehand but it was a rewarding experience and hope I got at least a few of them thinking about faith. Although it was a Catholic school none of them admitting to attending Sunday mass and the worry is once they leave school they will have no spiritual input at all. Here is a summary of my talk:
Both my parents are Catholic, I've been brought up Catholic, I went to a Catholic School, I go to mass every week and just on the outside probably looked like a good catholic boy with no problems or issues.
But there have been times I wasn't happy and when I was about 15/16 I got bored with my faith. It’s something that had always been around me and maybe I just didn't appreciate what it was doing for me. I kept going to church because I knew my mum would be angry with me but I didn't feel I was getting anything out of it. Mass seemed long and boring and it always seemed to get in the way. If I went out of a Saturday night it was hard to get up the next morning to go to church on a Sunday.
When I left school and got a job I had money and started going out a lot, met new people and spent a lot of time out in Manchester or at friends’ houses. During this time I didn't think about God or my faith much at all, I was embarrassed to tell people I was a Catholic. This time was hard because it pushed me further from God, I felt that I wasn't good enough for the church. When I went to mass I felt I didn't belong there amongst all these good people. I thought they all had perfect little lives with no struggles and that they didn't understand me. I felt like the church wasn't for me, God wasn't for me.
One year my parish priest invited me to go to Lourdes with the youth of the diocese to help sick people on pilgrimage. I was very nervous about it because I thought it would be like a holiday with a nursing home, bathing and feeding sick people all week. I couldn't have been more wrong it was brilliant, I met lots of great young people my age and had a really good laugh. It was hard getting up for a shift with a hangover sometimes but it was worth it. What it showed me was that Catholics can be normal, they can drink, and swear and have a laugh and still be good people. Being a good catholic doesn't mean you have to be boring and go to mass 12 times a day and say 20 rosaries.
After this holiday to Lourdes I started to get more involved with a youth group in my parish, we met up and went out together. I realised that I was good enough to be a Catholic. God doesn't expect us to be perfect, God made us and knows us and he loves us with all our faults. He knows we gossip, he knows what we look at online even if we delete the history, he knows when we shout at our parents, he knows when we drink, when we smoke, when we make fun of the teachers. He knows all of our sins, but that doesn't mean we can’t ask him for guidance. In the bible Jesus didn't go to all the good people, he went to the prostitutes, he went to murderers, he went to the tax collectors who were taking peoples money, he went to liars, he went to the poor and homeless people in the streets. Being a catholic isn't about being perfect, it’s about knowing that we aren't perfect.
I used to go to confession with the youth group and I wasn't always honest with the priest. I’d say the sins that I wanted him to know but I’d keep the really juicy stuff secret. This priest helped with the youth group so I didn't want him to know what I got up to when I wasn't being a good boy in mass. I guess I just didn't want him to judge me. Then one day I went to confession with a priest I didn't know, I decided I was going to have a real confession because he didn't know me and I’d never see him again. I told him everything, things I’d done when I was younger, girls I’d been seeing, things I’d done wrong, times I’d really hurt people. I got it all of my chest, then he gave me some advice and said Jesus forgives you of all your sins. I felt amazing. Like a weight had been lifted off, I didn't realise it but all these things I’d been doing had been weighing me down. I thought in that moment I never want to sin again, that lasted about 5 minutes. But that isn't the point. Going to confession isn't about being perfect, it’s about saying I'm only human. I am a sinner and I know I'm going to sin again but I'm genuinely sorry for what I've done. It’s a very powerful experience and it takes a strong person to go to confession and be totally honest.
I used to pray for selfish things, God please get me a fit girlfriend cos I've been really good and deserve one. If I fancied a girl I’d pray she fancied me back, like a divine love potion. God please make me win the lottery, I promise I’ll give some to charity so really by letting me win I’ll feed to poor like you told me to. God I want some new trainers, can you make my mum give me £100 otherwise I’ll have to rob them and you don’t like stealing. Obviously none of these prayers were answered so I thought God wasn't listening to me. What I realised later is that God does answer prayers, if we ask for the right things he always answers them. Rather than ask for that fit girl in my class I prayed that I’d meet the right woman. Rather than loads of cash straight away I prayed for a good job so I could work hard for the things I wanted. Now when I pray I ask God for things that I think he wants for me, if you are praying for God to help you fulfil His plan for you then why would He say no? Pray for development, ask to be a better person, and if you really want it then it will happen.
People say God has a plan for all of us and that’s hard to think sometimes, I was hoping God’s plan for me was to be a footballer so I could have fancy cars and houses. It didn't work out that way. Probably because I'm terrible at football. We can’t know what God’s plan is for us, he won’t text us with an update on what’s going to happen. We just have to be open to it, if you say to God I am open to whatever you want me to be. You will find you will be guided the right way. If you are closed to God and don’t let him in then you could very easily end up in bad place like I did. Temptations are very subtle, it’s very easy to be led along a dangerous route and by the time you realise it it’s very hard to back out of it. But you can, if you ask for help you will be given help.
We've all got dreams of what we want to be, what jobs we want, where we want to go, who we want to be. If your dreams are achievable and you think God would be happy with them then there is no reason you can’t achieve them. When you look back you will be amazed how God clears the obstacles to help you to end up where you are now.
It’s sounds sad to say yeah I go to prayer group it’s great. But its actually just a social group with like minded people. I guarantee you’ll meet better friends at school and in a youth group than in a night club or at the park. If you can get involved socially it’s easier to ask God what he want’s for you. God has a plan for you but you have to ask for guidance on how to fulfil it. If you can then go to Lourdes, it’s for young people like you and it’s a great way to get your parents to pay for you to go on holiday. Just say it’s a pilgrimage for helping sick people and don’t mention the pubs and staying up all night. It is hard work during the day but it’s a really good laugh.
When I look back at what I wanted, my fit girlfriend and loads of money. I realised it was selfish but actually through praying and working hard I've got where I wanted to be. I'm with a girl I met at Lourdes. I'm about to be a qualified surveyor and with Gods blessing I'll going to get a good job and the salary to go with it. But I only achieved these things through my faith. I opened myself up to God and said I will do whatever you want me to do. Please give me the strength and guidance to achieve your goals. And it happened, it’s not always easy and I'm nowhere near perfect but I'm happier and I'm getting there.
Just remember, you are good enough for God, being a good Catholic doesn't mean you have to be boring, going to confession will make you feel like a better sinner and help is always there when you need it. If you’re ever stuck just ask God to help you through it and ask for guidance.
YCM
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